Today is my 2nd last day, serving my doctor whom I have known for 5 yrs. Today is also my dad's surgery. And today, for Singapore, marks a week since the passing of our 1st Prime Minister. And I'm having a terrible Monday blues, coz I had only 2 hrs of sleep, from binge watching TV series. Weekends, man. 

The purpose I'm saying all these today, is coz, I realize that I procrastinate a little too much. I let all these factors ruin my Monday. Which I could have made a great brand new day. A turning point.

I decided to withdraw myself from continuing my service with my Dr coz, I stopped enjoying doing what I do. Thus, my conduct has vastly detiorated.
Addition to that, my colleague was involved in an accident 2 weeks ago. No, I don't mean to blame her, but it happened at a very inconvenient time, when we're in the midst of packing & shifting.
But, to think back, 2 yrs ago, I wasn't present during the clinic shift. And I was absent for 2 weeks too. Creepy or what? The full circle of life, they say.

What's next, they asked. A new me, I hope. As always.

Funny, this happened when I was at my most depressed state. I was really, beneath depth. I was so lonely that time. And so I started binge watching tv. In a way, I was running away from my miserable life to an unrealistic screenplay. Get out more, make new friends. Its not simply like that at all. Go for public classes, build up your imaan. Yeah, sure. Been doing that for a year. But I'm not a least bit changed, still. Fuck The Happiness Project.

But it wasn't until someone significant in my country died, that I feel that I should at least be a least bit grateful to what I received in errday life.

So here I am, making little changes. Starting with listing down all the nifty things that I am unhappy with, forgive them(which I find it very hard to do, said my ego & my selfishness) and move on.

I'm sorry mom, its not your fault that my pants didn't match today coz you didn't wash the laundry. I knew I wanted to wear my jeans yesterday but I took it for granted that you would have done it without me checking.

I'm sorry my colleague, its not your fault that I don't have time to eat breakfast or take my leave today. I have been rather calculative of my work(which I know I shouldn't have).

I'm sorry dear ol' public transport. Although you are freaking nuisance most of the times. Its better than paying $40 taxi fare which takes about the same duration as public.

I'm sorry boyfriend. For trying too hard for you to connect with my family. Although knowing that making you meet my family will somehow makes all of them pressure you more, which is obviously, not in the near future yet. 6 years is still nothing, right? Right? Heh. It's alright. You're worth the wait, my love. ;)


Moving on~!